Of course, things are not going perfectly as planned. My parts are. Other people are having more trouble. Other people meaning my mother.
Do you remember the whole scandal with Kathie Lee Gifford and the sweatshop? That was so unfair. I don't believe she had any idea that her clothing line was being manufactured in a sweatshop. I, on the other hand, am fully aware of the sweatshop conditions under which my labor is performed.
|Bread for stuffing. I let it burn slightly so it would hold more firm when cubing.|
I absolutely adore my mother. But that doesn't mean she is immune from driving me fucking insane. Every year, she wants--and downright insists upon making a tablecloth for Thanksgiving. She loves Thanksgiving--she is the reason I love Thanksgiving so much. She taught me the beauty of the fleeting color, appreciating the volatility of November, and the importance of family around a table. What she didn't teach me is how to actually just get shit done. Oh my god, the poor woman. Every year, there is the same drama. Everyone in the periphery of my family knows about it. Last week at the dentist, the hygienist asked me Soo...I hear we have another tablecloth in jeopardy...why can't she just finish it? Well, the short answer is that she's a perfectionist. Perfectionists never finish things because--guess what--things are never perfect. She obsesses over every single detail and has never said good enough. Her work is undeniably spectacular. When it's finally finished (five-ten years after the deadline), it will take your breath away.
I got the fabric for her in MAY and I'm pretty sure she didn't touch it until September. My instructions were please just do something simple. Sew some panels together and let's call it a day. What she heard, apparently, was make me the Taj fucking Mahal of tablecloths. In the skirt for this tablecloth there are 54 feet of fabric. it's a pleated design, and therefore, a lot of fabric. I am now using straight-up-sweatshop tactics to get her to finish. Let's hope for the best...I have a backup, but I really don't want to use it.
Regardless, I've had the most fabulous time preparing, chopping, fluffing, and drinking. My Thanksgiving-prep cocktail is just about my favorite thing in the world. It's so easy and seriously so good. It will almost distract you from your missing tablecloth.
|I always roast celery, onion, carrot, and garlic to puree and|
include in the gravy. It adds texture and deepens color.
|5 carrots, 5 stalks of celery, 1 onion, and 6 garlic cloves. Tossed in olive oil,|
salt,and pepper. Roasted at 450 until burnished. Add to food processor
with wine or stock to help liquefy.
|Don't bother with this if you're in a rush. but if you have some|
spare time it's a nice touch. Just whisk it in to your finished gravy.
|I usually use the timer on my phone, but with so many dishes to juggle,|
this makes it a little easier. Plus, no flour stuck on my phone.
Cranberry relish + gin + Sprite Zero, in whatever proportion you'd like. Mine is about 1.5 shots of gin, 2 Tablespoons of cranberry relish, and topped with Sprite Zero. Enjoy until you're singing along to a Mariah Carey song. Slow down once you're doing an interpretive dance along with a Kate Bush song.