What a week. I’m not going to touch it.
Maybe I will. You know how on a Viagra commercial they always say call your doctor if you’re experiencing an erection lasting longer than four hours? Well I think we need to call our fucking doctors for our election lasting longer than 24 hours. It’s over. Maybe you think we shot a blank, maybe you’ve never been more satisfied-- but we have an early morning and really can’t try again. In short, we have too much blood rushing everywhere except our heads. I’ve snapped, you’ve probably snapped, we need a cold fucking shower and some kumbayah.
|I missed the moon by about 23 seconds this morning.|
I’ve cried, argued, resigned, resumed, and eaten a lot of carbs. What I haven’t done is written off entire swaths of my family and friends. I know a lot of people who voted for Trump. We disagree and that’s okay. I don’t hate them, wish to banish them, or think they’re stupid. This is Ohio, for fuck’s sake. If I excommunicated everyone who I’ve disagreed with politically, I would need to reset my circle every four years.
I’m currently in my deep-cleaning phase of Thanksgiving prep. I try and get everything as clean as possible so that my house is easier to work with during the holidays. The most important part of this phase are the dishwashers. While we’re on controversial subjects, let’s talk about dishwasher theory. I clean my dishes with soap and water before I put them in the dishwasher. I think of dishwashers as autoclaves, not garbage disposals. I think that because dishwashers are autoclaves and not garbage disposals. Dishwashers do not have blades in them to mince things into manageable little pieces. Therefore, if particles are left on plates, they will likely build up over time. Many have box grater like lined cones that do mush food particles with water pressure and gravity, but that is not the same as a big ass garbage disposal.
I used to have a wonderful guy who fixed my appliances. He is kind of like a lot of other technical geniuses in that he is really fucking weird. His shirt is always dirty and half-tucked in, he farts freely, and he opens the refrigerator and asks hey what’s this? Can I have some? Now in the interest of full disclosure, I feed everyone. So he probably wouldn’t do that everywhere.
I would die if I ever did any one of these things, let alone all of them all the time. But he’s so sincere I can’t help but like him. I open the windows and make him a plate. He hates all the appliance companies because they’re not what they used to be, but he especially hates Viking.
I used to have Viking dishwashers. So, so pretty. So, so awful. So one year I had Thanksgiving on Thursday, of course, and then was catering a dinner party the following Saturday. I did pretty much all my catering out of my house. It was going to be tight, but I could handle it. Until one of my dishwashers wouldn’t start. What?! NO! Okay, thank god I have two. Redundancy! Wait. WHAT?! NO! Fuck. They were suddenly both suffering from different maladies. I wasn’t surprised as of course I was running them nonstop in the days leading up to Thanksgiving. I can easily do ten loads of dishes a day. Granted, sometimes one load means only two BABs (that’s Big Ass Bowls if you’re new here). I put everything in the dishwasher unapologetically. Here in the land of political discontent, we have plenty of rain so I don’t feel guilty running them constantly. The only things that don’t go in the dishwasher are my Le Creusets, a few precious plates, some silver, and my knives. Other than that—from gold rims to dainty crystal—they all go in. I have freakishly strong hands so I’m much more likely to break stemware drying it by hand than letting the dishwasher handle it. I have broken many more glasses in the cold, sober, morning light than I have in tipsy tumbles.
Anyway, I called my appliance whisperer in a panic Friday morning. He was out of town until Tuesday. Not exactly an epic hardship, but a fucking pain in the ass.
This is how I got very rigid and compulsive about dishwasher care. Between farts and refrigerator raids, my appliance guy chided me for not diligently keeping up on my jet-dry/rinse aid. In a dishwasher with heated dry, this chamber should NEVER EVER be empty! Keep an extra bottle of it always! NEVER LET IT GO EMPTY. Okay, okay I’m sorrrrry. These drains are all clogged! Are you putting dirty dishes in here? Isn’t that kind of the point? NO! Dishwashers are to automate and streamline sanitation! How often are you running it empty? How often do you run a cycle with Lemi-shine? Huh? UGH!
Nowadays, I pamper my dishwashers all year, but especially leading up to Thanksgiving. There are so so may dishes and I just don’t want to tempt fate. About two weeks before, I run an empty cycle with Lemi-shine in the detergent compartment. Then I run an empty cycle without Lemi-shine to ensure a solid rinse. Lemi-shine not only leaves the interior of the dishwasher sparkling, but also ensures the drains out of the dishwasher are clean. I get the impression it’s kind of like a scrubbing bubbles/drain-o combination product. I don’t know much about it other than my guru says to use it. I comply. And knock on wood, I’ve had great success. I also refill the Jet-dry chambers frequently.
|Ready for the holidays|
Forgive me if this is dreadfully boring, but I’m sure you’ve read plenty of controversial things lately.
I’d love to hear your prioritized lists for holiday cleaning? Of course, I think the kitchen should have top priority because clean kitchens are the key to holiday joy and efficiency. But for beauty, I focus first on glass. Light is so important and often you don’t realize you have bad light until you have good light. Clean windows make for clean light, dirty windows make for dirty light.
|Barbie turned 4 on Sunday! She had a fabulous day.|
I spent a lot of time cleaning my windows last week and through the weekend. I figured this week of all weeks was a good time to wash away all the dust and grime that collected through the late summer and fall. A chance to see things a bit more clearly—in good light.